Oom Jozie and Mama Citi

What would you do if I kissed you?
What would you do if I held your hand and laid you down?
Would you find me overly familiar towards you?
Would you call me insensitive, and say that I deserve to die?
...
What would you do if you knew the truth?
What would you do if I told you the story of my life?
Would you find me overly familiar towards you?
Would you call me crude, fling me aside to the birds?
...
I’d like to call you sometime...

“I’d Like” – Freshlyground (Nomvula)

So I’m back from my visit to Johannesburg (a.k.a. Jozie). To quote Wunderseun in his post “hol-e-deh” on 2005-12-05:

Took my car in to the panelbeater or coachworks, whatever you want to call it, today. It took a beating in the city of evilness aka Johannesburg, South Africa...remember that and if you're some eccentric outlander who thinks it would be fun to visit this country...Listen to my wise words limit your area of travel to the Western Cape or both Western Cape and Nothern Cape at most, but don't go ploughing through the rest of the coutry. You will only waste your time and would most likely be killed by some or other scam robbers setup...something like...Come See Authentic African Tribal Dances...Next thing you know your in the middle of a settlement of shacks whatching a couple of natives dancing the "show me the money dance" with a gun pointed at your head.

To world of Gauteng seems distant to some of us Capies (Capetownian). It is a world portrayed as a criminal’s paradise: where wanton murder, robberies and hijackings are part of what Joe Average has to deal with everyday. From my previous visit, I knew it as a place covered with a mantle of yellow, disgusting smog. I also know it as the land of Magog; the place where you go to gamble on surrendering to earthly gains. Also, to a Gautenger, only Gauteng exists, and everywhere else is a foreign holiday destination. Indeed, it is the nether land typical of fairytales. So it was with caution and a tiny bit of uneasiness that I left the city with the mountain to travel to this place of vile and myth. I was driven only by the thought of seeing a good, al be it relatively new, friend whom I hadn’t seen in months. It was a good motivation.

I’m not particularly superstitious, but it was kind of ironic that shortly before both my flights (to and fro) I saw parts of televisions programs on commercial airplane disasters. Meh, I made it. I quite enjoyed the flights, actually. The food was great: kudos to South African Airways for their choice of culinary contractors!

At the airport I was greeted by Nikki and met her parents. We got on well soon enough, something Nikki was somewhat surprised at and I was thankful for. My stay was very pleasant and everyone went out of their way to accommodate me, for which I once again say a heartfelt thank you. As with every household, this one had a few interesting quirks, like competitions, but hey, sometimes it works out well! I also met a bit of the extended family and was taken for sightseeing, shopping and more (useless bit of information I acquired on the trip: Johannesburg has more trees than any other city in the world, including trees in parks, and has more Jacaranda trees than Pretoria).

I met Nikki at Grahamstown earlier this year. We only saw each other for one night and one morning, but we stayed in touch. Our friendship developed quickly enough, despite the long distance between us. We stayed in touch and supportive of each other, even when things were tough for one or both of us at times. That is why I wanted to go see her: to see my friend that had meant so much to me over such a short period of time. Thanks, Nikki! ;-)

Of course I had to get into the routine of my host’s household. This includes getting up very early in the morning, but I was allowed to get up at my own time (which was still earlier than it is when I’m at home). Getting up early is something I see sort of as a typical Gauteng thing, maybe because the sun rises there 40 odd minutes earlier than here in the Cape, even though we are in the same time zone. Nikki and here father were also able to provide me with several complementary visits to their gym, which was really cool. I had never been to a gym and didn’t know how to think of the “sub-culture”, but it was awesome and I found out that I am slightly more fit than I thought I am. I enjoyed it very much.

It was somewhat weird when I got home. Everything was normal and familiar, but Nikki and her parents had made me feel so much at home that I couldn’t believe that world was now 2000 km away.

So, what do I think of Jozie now? First thing that I noticed was how friendly everyone is. That may be just because of the company that I kept, but it was nice. I also later realized there were none of those awful smog patches when we approached the city and found out that it is more or less seasonal. Many of the streets we drove through had tree canopies covering them, which was excellent. However, uniform neighbourhood guards that actually patrolled the suburbs were striking. I also saw the remnants of the street barracked that were set up a couple of years ago in an attempt to isolate their neighbourhoods, but which was declared unlawful or something. Being out in the street at night time was virtually taboo. I was told that the stories of crime were true, al be it not quite so everyday for every person. I was also reminded that, as guest, I was staying in a rather sheltered environment. We also never went into the central business district (CBD) of Johannesburg, because it is much seedier there, especially with elements such as the “red ant” squatters. Weighing the positives and the negatives, I now look less down on the Place of Gold, but I still wouldn’t live there. Once a Capie, always a Capie...

I went to Jozie with the idea of learning about Nikki’s everyday environment and to get to know her better in person. But I also got a little more than a bargained for. Ek weet jy lees hierdie, so dankie vir die kans wat ons nou vat met ons verhouding. Ja, ek gaan jou nog in ‘n Afrikaner meisie verander! ;-) In elk geval, lekker bly! Tot weer siens!