The "I" in Team

Finally, the first weekend of the semester is here! And not too soon... it was really starting to get to me. And not just me: they hit us with a bang in the B.Sc. Department.

Walking into the class, the notorious “Fluid Mechanics”, you could see this was going to be a try last haul. I'm already behind and will have to go read up on some old work to get a better background for this stuff. Worst of all, we only did the appendices this past week: the fluid mechanics are still to come! The other Applied Mathematics subject, Optimization, seems okay thus far.

But, even though it would seem logic to focus on the Maths now, I find myself rather consumed by Computer Science. Understandable, maybe, seeing as how it is my major. The two modules are Software Design and Networks. Of Networks, we've only had one class (mix ups and misunderstandings with between the lecturer and us) and a tutorial. In this module we have a small project about every two weeks. I recall seeing the third year students in the computer lab every time I went there last year. They'd be busy working on a Networks project and it took up a lot of their time. That seemed scary, but at least the lecturer seems pleasant (despite a few boogy-man stories I've heard about him).

Yet this all still isn't enough to hold my attention. Instead, it is the Software Design course. This one has traditionally been infamous for it's big compiler project (a compiler for an object orientated programming language which compiles to a VM), but this year the new lecturer decided (sort of, he gave us an option) to break tradition and give us a spreadsheet to develop. This is still a “big project” and we've been divided into groups of four people each to work on this project. I was lucky to end up with a group of people I know and who I know can code and do their part, so I feel good about that. We also have some nice tools to help us and I think we've made a good start, despite the fact that we're only getting the project specification after the weekend.

I however, don't have a good track record when it come to programming with a team. Back in high school we were once given a group project for groups of three. My team mates weren't the strongest coders in the class and, way in the beginning, when they were still arguing over what type of game (we had to program a board game of our choice) we should write I decided to start on my own with my own idea. The following day I showed them my progress and they were impressed. I continued on my own and eventually finished the project by myself. I didn't mind, because no-one was “in my way” and I could do whatever I want. In the end it was a nice project (it was “my” Awari game) with only one thing I was really unhappy about (the “jittering rocks”).

Then there was last year where we had the opportunity to do our database project in groups of two. I wanted to team up with Freeman, but when he decided to go solo, I also thought of doing so. This eventually turned out to be a mistake and led to some very dark moments for me, but in the end I got through it.

I don't think, however, that I am incapable of working with a group. Besides, group work is fundamental in the programming industry. I am a little hard headed and like things to go my way, true, but with a project of sufficient scope I think I can really be a team player. I just have to watch out for trying to “take over” (which is already happening to a small extent).For the Networks projects we can also work in small groups, but the spreadsheet is suppose to be THE group work project, so I'm interested to see what happens.

For those of you that are interested

The new semester started like a hitting the pavement after a very high fall.

Cold Reception

As far as moving (packing) goes, I'm not getting any faster at it.

Moving home after last semester, the trip to Jozi, coming back home and moving back to the flat at Stellenbosch, I always leave at the latest possible time; even late. I don't know whether it is simple laziness, procrastination or reluctance to leave. It steals relaxation time but, meh, as long as I'm ready before the plane leaves or university starts again...

Just as I left and got on the highway it started raining cats and dogs. I wasn't looking forward to unpacking in this weather, but, thankfully, just as I pulled up to the flat, it stopped raining. I got everything in the house and went to a computer lab to use the internet. Sitting there in the nearly empty room with humming Dell machines I was overcome with the sense of impending academic responsibility. It was very disheartening to experience that. Though it might also just have been the stuffy conditioned air. Whatever it was, it was the varsity monster's breath as he chuckled whilst beckoning the hapless students closer and closer. Its less like a siren's call and more like a butch, emotionless prison guard telling a condemned prisoner that its time.

Okay, enough fatalism for tonight then. Tonight is apparently going to be the coldest night in the Cape for this winter thus far. So was last night. Are we starting to see a trend here? I hope not. There's been some snow around Ceres and many people flocked today to go see it today. I predicted that this year there will be snow on the Stellenbosch mountains again. This has yet to come (I think), but if that happens, it is going to be very, very cold.

Ah, I miss the under floor heating Nikki's home has!

BlogBlogBlog

I usually don't mention other blogs here, even though there are a few friends' blogs I link to in my links page. I don't however, belong to some tight-knit ring of bloggers and I am continually striving for anonymity and ignorance (if that even makes sense...). Lately, though, there have been renewed efforts by a couple of friends at continuing and enhancing their blogging efforts. This would involve a new website (or blog host), a new design and, maybe, another language. Sparrows has set up shop at http://bloute.avesse.net/ and Wunderseun at http://ludipan.spaces.msn.com/. Personally I'll stick with this old cave or box or inner sanctum or whatever this site reminds you of, but I hope everyone finds their inspiration at their new base of operations!

Being curious and bored, I linked to some links of links from one of these sites and found a link to yet another person bitching and moaning about blogs with the cleverly entitled “Why I Hate Personal WebLogs”. Yay, a blog links to an anti-blog page! Irony! :-) Its all just HTML to me... no, seriously, everyone has a right to their own opinion. That is the internet's best and worse feature. Everything else is a subset of either the pro-view or the con-view, but both the pro and con co-exists, no matter who you are.

One of the first anti-blog sentiments I came across (barring the people who had, up to that point still, written it off as geek stuff), was this cartoon. That was funny and in my, perhaps slightly twisted view, done tastefully. Other people just complain and complain a lot. Anyway, here is my view on people who complain about blogs: people who complain about blogs are as part of a clique as people who have blogs. They are usually the people who are against everything that are popular. As with the piece of writing in question, I can go sit down and list every conceivable type of person who hates blogs as a negatively named group and elaborate on that, but I won't, partly because this is not what I'm trying to write here and partly because I'm not going to take part in their petty vendetta. Anyway, what I mean is this: think of the punks who originally started to rebel against The Establishment and yadda yadda yadda. They started out as radical rogues, but later they were joined by other people and, eventually, an entire sub-culture was formed. Now, in a certain mindset, I would be “cool” to become a punk. There are other examples, but the pattern is clear: rebels form their own pop group. When you speak out so completely subjectively and negatively about something like, for instance, blogs or 7de Laan, you are trying to impress someone. These people seek attention, just like many bloggers seek attention by inviting other people for a glimpse into their personal lives.

The internet's vices and virtues stand. Deal with it. I don't actively read other people's blogs (apart from a couple of friends') because I either find them boring and disappointing or they annoy me excessively. I've tried it, but 98% of the time it comes back to what I have just mentioned. I'm not saying that there aren't any good blogs out there, but I'm not going to spend my time finding and reading them.

And I don't expect anyone to feel any different about this blog. I do this purely for personal reasons and without any expectations. No-one will ever completely and truly understand why I do this or what it means to me. This website as a whole has become a hobby for me. And if you have a problem with that, then (to hell with freedom of speech), screw you. And not just for me, but if you attack anyone who wants to write or share or whatever they hope to achieve with their blogs.

The internet is a twisted place. The best way to deal with it is to stay away from twisted people (al be it bloggers, blog haters or apathetics). And that's up to you: no-one else is going to protect you (effectively, even if they try).

Aeroplane

The end of my holiday came as a 20-odd meter walk to the boarding gate, stopping three times to turn around and have a final wave goodbye at Nikki.

Writing this I am on the plane (yup-pie) back to Cape Town after a wonderful week staying at Nikki's. We haven't seen each other since January and probably won't again until December. It was great to see her again and, although we didn't go out as much as last time, I got to meet a few of her friends and also meet up again with a couple of old friends of mine who were lost to Gauteng.

It got me bad, leaving this time. Last time was hard: we had literally just started going out, but this time we had the weight of a passed long wait, and of a coming long wait, on us.

My holiday is now, as far as I am concerned, officially over. Tomorrow I have to start packing and go shopping again for provisions to help me survive the initial shock of my (hopefully) final pre-graduate semester. Sunday is going to be more packing, driving and then, finally, unpacking.

Asked, am I ready to start the new semester, I had to admit that I am not as much ready as I was earlier in the holiday. At the beginning I had to grind my teeth at the lack of having anything “productive” to do. Eventually I found some things to keep my interest, finished or lost interest in them and then went up to Johannesburg which was the highlight of the whole endeavour. Because of that, I guess I started to relax for the first time. I had been vegging and unwinding a lot leading up to the trip, but this was what a holiday should be.

Again Johannesburg offered me a strange combination of caution and hospitality. Having once heard that a poll showed that Cape Town was the second or third most unfriendly major city in South Africa, I couldn't believe it and just dismissed the piece of useless trivia. But the general degree of service (with a smile) up in Joburg seemed almost alien to me. So, the question stands: do you prefer friendly people in a dangerous and crime-ridden place or slightly less friendly people in a slightly safer place? Of course that is not what determines a home (except for some of the chicken-runners), but it helps. The truth is that I wanted to go home, because home is home and that won't change. But I also wanted to stay, even if just for a little longer... alas, the holiday has been stretched as far as it could (except if you are my brother).

What did strike me about Johannesburg is how impersonal many of the homes are. Almost all houses are surrounded by 2m high walls and many times this wall is very close or part of the actual house itself. This means that you can't stand back, look at the front of your house and take a deep and satisfying breath as you look at your home. This is in contrast to my house which still has an open yard.

The Transvaal, also, is too weird for me: it’s cold in the winter but only rains in the summer. This goes against all what I know about seasons. In winter it should be cold and it should rain (or snow). In summer, it should be warm and there should be clear skies.

Having been apart for so long, and then together for only such a short period, meant Nikki and I mostly spent our time together and passed the time with pleasantries. We did talk about some of the issues that laid heavy on me, but the majority of it all still hasn't been resolved. Knowing you only have a day or two left before another six month gap, you don't want to step on the other person's toes. Long distance relationships suck.

I was well taken care of and I want to thank Nikki for everything she did for me. I wish I could have stayed longer. Have an awesome semester, Nikki, and I hope all your upcoming hard work will really pay off in the end. See you on the other side! Bye babes.

PS The redone website is so very nearly finished it brings tears to my eyes. The biggest jobs left still are to complete the commenting functionality (which isn't very urgent, apparently :-P ) and to convert the “Blogger” posts into the format I'll use. That is going to take some time, so scratch what I said previously about it maybe going up at the end of the holiday.

Where is my fast car?

You feel like you could just take the highway and drive and drive until you can't anymore; drive so that the street lights flood over your face, ebb and flow, until it washes away and only the darkness remains. Just forsake everything and dissapear in your own thoughts.

But you can't. And then you end up right back here. Where its safe and comforting. And where all the plagues and haunts you lies.

I'm sorry, I should stop with the cryptic posts. But there are still some things I can't admit to my audience.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my folks' 35th wedding anniversary. I found this out when I asked her why she wanted to go eat out tonight. I know, I'm a bad son. Egg on my face. I've been very ignorant and lax this year... Mother's Day, Father's Day, anniversary... *wheezing cough* But, in my defence, where I may be allowed one, anniversary's aren't big for my folks. And, if they are, they've never let on so that I've noticed. We usually just go out to dinner, no big hoo-ha, no party and, if my parents exchange gifts, its not really earth moving stuff.

Thirty five years. That's a long time. Its a milestone, but its still not 50. I guess I just mean that, while 35 years is longer than I've been alive (thankfully), it still doesn't seem that awfully long to me. Guess that's because I still live with the idea of a happily ever after.

But 35 can be a very long time, even if it is a subset of your life. I'm sure the bulk of the first 25 were happy for my folks, but ever since my dad's strokes, it has been very hard on everyone, but especially on my mother (haven't I told that story already? If not, stay tuned for a future episode...). Your folks change (at least in your perception of them) as you grow up and into adulthood, but some people, like myself, realize that it is not only the perception itself that has changed people: its also the long months and years of struggling forwards while the past fades away more and more quickly.

But 35 years, regardless, is no minor achievement, so I salute my parents and thank them for everything, even through the trying times. Good luck forward and here's to the next 35!