One Giant Leap Forwards, One Step Taken Back
Today I wrote my final exam. Yes, I finished hectically early and loving it! While I wasn't very happy with how I wrote, nothing beats being finished. It is like experience a tiny earthquake that everyone else is oblivious to. You walk down the street and you feel physically lighter. You can look at the usual strangers you pass in the street and you can smile. Life does indeed go on and suddenly, for the first time in a long time, you feel part of it. I've been taking it peacefully since I finished: I'm trying to stretch the afterglow for as long as I can.
A brief recap of how my exam went: this exam was certainly the strangest I ever had. The uniqueness of it all started a few weeks ago we I learned that I did not need to write an exam for one of my courses. This was a welcome first. But, as the lecturer said, it was deserved. So I actually started my exam last Friday with Algorithms. Knowing it was half open book and half closed book and being lazy, it was awkward to prepare for. Still, I managed a fair amount of preparation. Unfortunately the papers did not justify the studying: I was very easy and, indeed, laughable. It is shocking that such a paper was given to honours students. Still, we don't complain: we worked hard and welcomed the downhill run to the finish line. On the other side of the weekend, however, lay a completely different experience: Graph Theory. The lecturer is strict. His strictness is always justifiable, however, but the fact remains that it is very difficult to fool him into believing that you know something you actually don't know. I probably didn't prepare enough, but I did have an exam on the Friday. The paper was pleasant, but in the end I can't make any predictions: it can go either way. 50/50. So we'll see. Today I ended with Concurrency I, which saw another first: a 5 hour take home exam. I again had inadequate preparation, but I wasn't the only one who was unhappy with how he wrote. Today's exam is thus another wildcard, but I currently (and understandably) don't care. I'm done. There were also other types of weirdness in the exam. I don't want to cause any problems, but let us just say that after this exam, I can say that I wrote an exam together with other people without us having any supervision. I don't believe there was any foul play, so I guess it doesn't matter.
So ends the first semester of my honours year. It has been both gruelling and fleeting. I am not going to elaborate on any of these two characterisations at this time. I just glad to have the four weights of my subjects off my shoulders. I can relax for a tiny bit. Yes, my holiday is two months longs (yes, I said two, not one), but I am going to have to put in serious work on my currently non-existing year project. I think I'll start with some sleep.
Yesterday I went to see my one lecturer, who is also my project leader. We talked for a while and I now have some quasi-structure to motivate me. Afterwards I decided to go visit a friend for a coffee. I didn't quite expect what I found when I arrived. My friend has told me on Friday that one of her house mates are very sick and that I should pray for her. I didn't know any details, but did so in good faith. Upon arrival at the house yesterday, I was greeted with the news that that particular house mate had died on Sunday night. Meningitis. The visit wasn't exactly light-hearted, but I stayed for a couple of hours longer than I intended: no-one really wanted to be alone or be studying. I never met the girl, but even I have been effected by the news: especially after talking with my friend and seeing how they are dealing with it. It later turned out that my mother knew the girl's mother. Small world. My mom insisted that I go get preventative medication at the hospital, but they didn't feel it was necessary.
I'm planning on going home on Friday and then returning around Tuesday before going back “permanently” next weekend. To be honest, I think this holiday is going to have a lot of pain and agony in it for me. I have some difficult issues to deal with and less time than I would like to believe. But at least I have some time to deal with it. Time has become a precious, precious commodity. How did we get here? How did we wind up this way? Why can't I stop, even if I know I really need it?
A brief recap of how my exam went: this exam was certainly the strangest I ever had. The uniqueness of it all started a few weeks ago we I learned that I did not need to write an exam for one of my courses. This was a welcome first. But, as the lecturer said, it was deserved. So I actually started my exam last Friday with Algorithms. Knowing it was half open book and half closed book and being lazy, it was awkward to prepare for. Still, I managed a fair amount of preparation. Unfortunately the papers did not justify the studying: I was very easy and, indeed, laughable. It is shocking that such a paper was given to honours students. Still, we don't complain: we worked hard and welcomed the downhill run to the finish line. On the other side of the weekend, however, lay a completely different experience: Graph Theory. The lecturer is strict. His strictness is always justifiable, however, but the fact remains that it is very difficult to fool him into believing that you know something you actually don't know. I probably didn't prepare enough, but I did have an exam on the Friday. The paper was pleasant, but in the end I can't make any predictions: it can go either way. 50/50. So we'll see. Today I ended with Concurrency I, which saw another first: a 5 hour take home exam. I again had inadequate preparation, but I wasn't the only one who was unhappy with how he wrote. Today's exam is thus another wildcard, but I currently (and understandably) don't care. I'm done. There were also other types of weirdness in the exam. I don't want to cause any problems, but let us just say that after this exam, I can say that I wrote an exam together with other people without us having any supervision. I don't believe there was any foul play, so I guess it doesn't matter.
So ends the first semester of my honours year. It has been both gruelling and fleeting. I am not going to elaborate on any of these two characterisations at this time. I just glad to have the four weights of my subjects off my shoulders. I can relax for a tiny bit. Yes, my holiday is two months longs (yes, I said two, not one), but I am going to have to put in serious work on my currently non-existing year project. I think I'll start with some sleep.
Yesterday I went to see my one lecturer, who is also my project leader. We talked for a while and I now have some quasi-structure to motivate me. Afterwards I decided to go visit a friend for a coffee. I didn't quite expect what I found when I arrived. My friend has told me on Friday that one of her house mates are very sick and that I should pray for her. I didn't know any details, but did so in good faith. Upon arrival at the house yesterday, I was greeted with the news that that particular house mate had died on Sunday night. Meningitis. The visit wasn't exactly light-hearted, but I stayed for a couple of hours longer than I intended: no-one really wanted to be alone or be studying. I never met the girl, but even I have been effected by the news: especially after talking with my friend and seeing how they are dealing with it. It later turned out that my mother knew the girl's mother. Small world. My mom insisted that I go get preventative medication at the hospital, but they didn't feel it was necessary.
I'm planning on going home on Friday and then returning around Tuesday before going back “permanently” next weekend. To be honest, I think this holiday is going to have a lot of pain and agony in it for me. I have some difficult issues to deal with and less time than I would like to believe. But at least I have some time to deal with it. Time has become a precious, precious commodity. How did we get here? How did we wind up this way? Why can't I stop, even if I know I really need it?
posted by phantom-99w at 09:54
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