Holiday Update

I am now in the fourth week of my holiday and have passed the half-way mark. Thus far my holiday has been a mixture of loafing about and working on my honours year project. The project is coming along nicely, albeit a little slow. I had another meeting with my project coordinator today and, for the first time since I've started working on the project seriously, I know where I am going and have an idea of how to get there. Hopefully this structure will serve as another motivator. The plan is for me to continue working on what I am busy with at the moment and expand on what I have. By the end of the holiday, this work should be done to the degree where my work could almost conceivably be implemented in real-world situations. When the second semester starts, the honours students must give presentations on their progress. By then I should have enough concrete results and planning done to receive an acceptable (hopefully positive) response. I shall then spend the bulk of the second semester working on the second phase of my project, which will stand apart from the first phase. Hopefully I'll have enough time at the end of the semester to tie up all the loose ends and round everything off nicely. Somewhere in between I also hope to weave in a little theoretical work.

The truth is, however, that I am not over-working myself. I am becoming dangerously lazy, with the past few days being of particular concern. But I feel that I am technically on holiday and I am trying to catch up on some relaxation for the sake of my sanity. I do want to do well in my project, however. This is not just because it is an integral part of my honours course, but because I have now received my semester marks (unofficially), and they are all favourable. I waited a long time to find out what my last subject's mark is, but was nearly blown away when I found out how much I had attained. I was hoping to at least barely pass (although failing was a distinct possibility), but thankfully received more than that. I know feel that I have a solid foundation to build on for the rest of the year. Also, because I passed all four my subjects, I only have to take two in the second semester. While I doubt that this will mean that I shall only have half the work, I am hoping to apply much better planning and time management in the second semester. It is still going to be tough, but I believe I shall be better prepared for the second round.

My greatest failing this holiday thus far has been the sorting out of the issues which have accumulated over the year. I have done some introspection and discovered a few things about myself, but more work still needs to be done. I am uncertain how to get out it, however: there does not appear to be a switch which can simply be flipped to fix me. But I also don't want a long, drawn out recovery. That is why I am very careful in my search for someone to help me: I don't trust just anyone and measure people who can potentially help me against a very high standard. I like to think that I am making slow progress, but something happened two nights ago which caused me to regress a bit. I feel very frail and vulnerable.