Save the Cheerleader

Making good on an important promise I made myself earlier in the quarter, I recently took the first steps to try and sort out my problems which have been compounding over the year thus far. While there is still no “formal” structure in place, and I still have to very long way to go, I am positive and hopeful. I received some positive reinforcement, but also some cold hard truths. It is time for my feet to touch the ground again and for me to make my way around the coming bend.

I knew that I would not have received instructions on how to solve specific problems plaguing me. I suppose I still hoped that could happen, but that would have been an easy way out. There is nothing easy about what I am going through, but that is the point. The point is to make it through hard times and to learn from the experience. Anyway, I in stead gained a broad, new, perspective on where I am and what needs to be done. That is the way it should be, but I still don't know what lies ahead of me. That is scary, but I am no longer afraid. Well, maybe I am: fear seems to be a big role player in my problems. But I want to get through this. I no longer want to be a slave to jealousy and obsession.

I find myself in a precarious position at the moment. Inherently, I want to help people. I've know this for a long while, but sometimes it is less obvious (or the need is less strong). The fact remains that, in more than 10 years, I've been unable to become (and, at least, remain) completely apathetic about the situations of the people around me. Up until now, 2007 has been a very difficult and trying time for the most people I know. In fact, almost everyone around me seems tired and, to a greater or lesser degree, in pain. The recent perspectives I gained has endowed me with some vigour. I now look around me and I see the weariness and pain of people. I want to do something. I want to help. There are a couple of problems with this desire, however. Firstly, I am not professionally trained to help people. Pleasant words and pep talks only bring you so far. I recently came to the chilling realisation that the things I told someone may not necessarily have been helpful, despite how nice and idealistic it sounded. Secondly, how can I help other people while I am still broken myself? Do I put everything (read: everyone) on hold while I sort out my own problems? Or do I proceed cautiously as far as I know I can take someone?

I know I am not suppose to save the world. Indeed, I am probably sounding very egotistical to some readers at the moment. I am not saying I am the only one who can help the people around me. But I know something is wrong with certain people. I just can't ignore it. If I can't ignore it, what can I do? What options are available to me if I can't stand to doing nothing?