Preliminary Thoughts on Fear
I've been thinking about fear lately. What is it? It is one of those things that, if someone asks me to define it, I'd get pretty frustrated, because it is an emotion so fundamental to any human being that it transcends dictionary or any definitions. Even though everyone understands fear intuitively, I want to strive to understand it on a different level. I haven't done a deep study or anything, but my journey did start with dictionary definitions. In one way, they all sufficed in describing what fear it. But they don't explain it, just describe it. I then turned to encyclopaedias, but gained few new insights. It is difficult to describe how I felt when I read all this. I want to call it clinical, but not because it is clean and precise, but because it is cold and impersonal.
At this point I should probably explain that I am looking for a particular explanation of fear: the cause of fear. The dictionaries and encyclopaedias all explain this well: it is a survival mechanism. Some examples: "feeling of great worry or anxiety caused by the knowledge of danger." - http://dictionary.reference.com/help/kdict.html. "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid." - http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna.html. "an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight)" - http://dictionary.reference.com/help/wn.html. But, for my needs, they do not sufficiently describe all the causes of fear.
I am now going to try and explain the cause of fear as I understand it using analogies from nature. It is going to be overly-simplistic, but bare with me. If a hungry lion approaches an antelope and the antelope shows no fear, it will get eaten. To retain its life, an antelope must necessarily fear a hungry lion. Retaining its life serves a dual purpose. Firstly, death is never a pleasant consideration. Secondly, if all antelope are to throw away their lives because they are fearless, the species would die out. Then the lions would die out (if this fearless trend continues in their other prey) and then the planet would become an exceedingly lonely place. A consequence of fear hungry lions is that you inherently learn to fear lions, whether they are hungry (that is to say, a threat) or not.
Humans learned to fear for the same reason. We also once walked among the lions. We may not have been their favourite food, but we would have sufficed if nothing else were available (lions aren't too picky). So, I understand what fear is and where it comes from when you take that perspective. It also explains phobias: although planes crash relatively infrequently, for example, flying still carries a risk to one's life. Hence the fear of flying. Of course, once some sort of fear has taken root inside of you, it can lead to all sort of destructive, unhealthy and obsessive behaviour. Fear can thus lead to other emotional problems.
At this point it would be worth mentioning that not all fear is bad. As mentioned, fear keeps you alive in the animal kingdom. The same goes for humans. I believe fear is very much akin to stress in its role in a person's life. Stress, in moderation, serves as a motivator. Without it, people tend to procrastinate. Of course, too much stress can negatively impact your health. It can even kill you. Hence it is necessary to strike a balance and manage your stress. The same goes for fear: we need it, but if we allow ourselves to be controlled by it, it will destroy us.
But there is still one aspect of fear which I do not understand. I don't quite know what to call it, because "irrational" does not seem appropriate: even irrational fears can have valid causes. Let me explain with another example: a person who wishes to ask someone out, but is afraid to. Afraid. Fear. Why? Off the top of my head, I would say fear of rejection. Fear of rejection? How threatening is that? How does rejection kill and devour you? The best I can do is to conclude that the fear of rejection is fallout from another root cause of emotional problems: low self-esteem.
Having reached this point, I find myself at an impasse. I have not recently pondered the intricacies of low self-esteem as I have with fear. But I am not equipped to answer the resulting questions. Are all of these "deeper fears" a consequence of other factors?
What are my fears? Fear of failure. Fear of being alone. Are they necessarily rational? Are they necessarily bad? Do they stem from some other emotional problem? I have never really planned any step of my life. Like many people, I suppose, I have simply drifted from one expectation to the next. While some people rebel against this notion of a "pre-determined" life, I don't. I recognise the potential comfort it can bring. I see it as the most direct (and safest) route to what I want. I want to be a good citizen, a provider, a lover, a teacher, a husband, a father and a builder. Is it way too early to be so concerned, so obsessed, with these things? I don't know. No-one knows. There is no recipe. No set course, no matter how ideal or well thought out a "pre-destined" life is.
I am afraid that my fears will lead me to make incorrect decisions in my life. Fear does breed fear, it seems.
I am terrified by the prospect of perhaps one day learning that these things which I have mentioned are not destined for me. The fear is nauseating. Paralysing. When I speak of things which are destined or not destined, I am not talking about failure or low self-esteem.
UPDATE: 2007/06/12 19:43
I completely over-looked the fact that humans are social creatures! This adds yet another dimension to the discussion. Is the thought of seperation and of loneliness (in the extreme - a perceived result of rejection in a social context) so terrifying for some people that it is comparable to death?
At this point I should probably explain that I am looking for a particular explanation of fear: the cause of fear. The dictionaries and encyclopaedias all explain this well: it is a survival mechanism. Some examples: "feeling of great worry or anxiety caused by the knowledge of danger." - http://dictionary.reference.com/help/kdict.html. "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid." - http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna.html. "an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight)" - http://dictionary.reference.com/help/wn.html. But, for my needs, they do not sufficiently describe all the causes of fear.
I am now going to try and explain the cause of fear as I understand it using analogies from nature. It is going to be overly-simplistic, but bare with me. If a hungry lion approaches an antelope and the antelope shows no fear, it will get eaten. To retain its life, an antelope must necessarily fear a hungry lion. Retaining its life serves a dual purpose. Firstly, death is never a pleasant consideration. Secondly, if all antelope are to throw away their lives because they are fearless, the species would die out. Then the lions would die out (if this fearless trend continues in their other prey) and then the planet would become an exceedingly lonely place. A consequence of fear hungry lions is that you inherently learn to fear lions, whether they are hungry (that is to say, a threat) or not.
Humans learned to fear for the same reason. We also once walked among the lions. We may not have been their favourite food, but we would have sufficed if nothing else were available (lions aren't too picky). So, I understand what fear is and where it comes from when you take that perspective. It also explains phobias: although planes crash relatively infrequently, for example, flying still carries a risk to one's life. Hence the fear of flying. Of course, once some sort of fear has taken root inside of you, it can lead to all sort of destructive, unhealthy and obsessive behaviour. Fear can thus lead to other emotional problems.
At this point it would be worth mentioning that not all fear is bad. As mentioned, fear keeps you alive in the animal kingdom. The same goes for humans. I believe fear is very much akin to stress in its role in a person's life. Stress, in moderation, serves as a motivator. Without it, people tend to procrastinate. Of course, too much stress can negatively impact your health. It can even kill you. Hence it is necessary to strike a balance and manage your stress. The same goes for fear: we need it, but if we allow ourselves to be controlled by it, it will destroy us.
But there is still one aspect of fear which I do not understand. I don't quite know what to call it, because "irrational" does not seem appropriate: even irrational fears can have valid causes. Let me explain with another example: a person who wishes to ask someone out, but is afraid to. Afraid. Fear. Why? Off the top of my head, I would say fear of rejection. Fear of rejection? How threatening is that? How does rejection kill and devour you? The best I can do is to conclude that the fear of rejection is fallout from another root cause of emotional problems: low self-esteem.
Having reached this point, I find myself at an impasse. I have not recently pondered the intricacies of low self-esteem as I have with fear. But I am not equipped to answer the resulting questions. Are all of these "deeper fears" a consequence of other factors?
What are my fears? Fear of failure. Fear of being alone. Are they necessarily rational? Are they necessarily bad? Do they stem from some other emotional problem? I have never really planned any step of my life. Like many people, I suppose, I have simply drifted from one expectation to the next. While some people rebel against this notion of a "pre-determined" life, I don't. I recognise the potential comfort it can bring. I see it as the most direct (and safest) route to what I want. I want to be a good citizen, a provider, a lover, a teacher, a husband, a father and a builder. Is it way too early to be so concerned, so obsessed, with these things? I don't know. No-one knows. There is no recipe. No set course, no matter how ideal or well thought out a "pre-destined" life is.
I am afraid that my fears will lead me to make incorrect decisions in my life. Fear does breed fear, it seems.
I am terrified by the prospect of perhaps one day learning that these things which I have mentioned are not destined for me. The fear is nauseating. Paralysing. When I speak of things which are destined or not destined, I am not talking about failure or low self-esteem.
UPDATE: 2007/06/12 19:43
I completely over-looked the fact that humans are social creatures! This adds yet another dimension to the discussion. Is the thought of seperation and of loneliness (in the extreme - a perceived result of rejection in a social context) so terrifying for some people that it is comparable to death?
posted by phantom-99w at 03:47
1 Comments:
>> Is the thought of seperation and of loneliness (in the extreme - a perceived result of rejection in a social context) so terrifying for some people that it is comparable to death?
In many ancient societies, ostracism (which in some societies meant you had to leave rather than merely hang around and be ignored) was considered to be the worst thing that could happen to you, particularly if you had been "somebody". People would rather die than be ostracised.
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